Sponsor Me

Nothing ever wrong with a little shameless self-promotion. Or was it like TLC quipped ooh… on the TLC tip about “Ain’t too proud to beg”-ging?

Yes. And since I need it in the morning or the middle of the night… I’m coming to you. My frannns.

Truth is — I get funnier and more entertaining when I have enough money to do stuff to provide social commentary about. You laugh harder when I’m having positive cash flow. So, I need your help.

As many of you are aware — I donate money to many causes. Which is a great thing. Unfortunately, I realized that by donating money — it means that I have less of it to do this Eurotrip thing. Here’s where I’m hoping that you and your friends can come in.

I’m setting up a paypal account so that the world can keep me shufflin’ everyday I’m trying to restart the Cold War and get into random hijinks that will make any upstanding citizen cringe. But I am only one man, and since I’m under-employed — I don’t have much cash flow. I ask that you donate whatever you can… and that you tell your friends to do the same. Coins, dollars, $5 spots, $10 spots… anything that you can muster. And if you have international friends, ask them to do the same (crappy economies mean that their donations are extra special to me because they are worth more).

Just click on the pictures and it’ll take you to a donation page. And unlike 99.99% of charities, I’ll use 100% of your donations towards the cause.

And if I can somehow get a company to assist — that would be better. Or we can do an exchange of services kind of deal. Imagine landing Trojan Brand Condoms for the Safe Sex September/Cocktober Eurotrip 2011? That would be awesome, free condoms and great publicity. For the record, I both use and endorse your product TBC. Well, the big boy ones. We should chat.

The Breakdown for Donations

$0.01 to $10 =
A public thank-you on my blog

$25 =

N.Pizzola!

Public thank-you
Specific mentioning in a post that is in some way related to you/our relationship (aka – a personal shout out).
If I don’t know you, well then, you tell me three things you’d like mentioned and I’ll incorporate something somehow.

$50 =
Public thank-you
Complete blog entry all about you and how awesome you are. [length subject to donation size – limited one per person]

$100 =
Public thank-you
Complete blog entry all about whatever you want me to talk about. [product, place, technique, advice, whatever]

$250 =
Public thank-you
Promotion of whatever you want me to promote for a 24/hr period. That means I will place the ad on this site (your company/a product/how much you love your mom/crude sayings/whatever*) and drive traffic to it. I’ll also promote whatever this is on the streets (t-shirts, hats, whatever).
* — nothing derogatory, racial or anything like that. But if you want me to promote Vagisil… that is fair game. We’ll have to discuss further.

$500 =
Public thank-you
Promotion of whatever you want for 24 hours
I will also allow you to send me on a special report from whatever city I am in at that time. [Red-light district, cuisine of the street vendors, bathroom stall reports at Oktoberfest, get escorted, etc., whatever you want… I’ll do it — provided it isn’t illegal]

$1,000 =
Public thank-you
Promotion of whatever you want for 24 hours
You control me for an 8-hour work day. When I start, when I finish, where I go, how I get there, what I do, you name it, I do it. You are my boss. For 8 hours. Want me to clean up dogshit, I do it. Want me to volunteer at a homeless shelter? I do it. Engage in random conversations with strangers while filming for YouTube? I do it. You can make me do a different thing every hour or you can make me do 1 positively horrendous thing. Your call. This is limited though — because there are only so many days that I’ll be in each place. So donate early for best times.

$2,500 =
Public thank-you
I give you carte blanche. Whatever you want, I have to do… 24 hours. You basically send me on a scavenger hunt for 24 hours and I have to have visual evidence for completing the tasks. [Subject to availability]

$5,000 =
Public thank-you
Carte blanche. Whatever you want… 72 hours. That is a whole nutha 24 hours free. Pay for 48, get 72. [Subject to availability]

$9,999 =
Public thank-you
Although I will still honor other advertisements — a $9,999 donation will enable you or your company to be the official sponsor of the my blog and

It’ll be like PBS but instead of some crappy lithograph — you’ll get my witty banter for all eternity.

**Any donations between the tiers (i.e. — $517.34) means that I will guarantee the lower tier (in this case $500) and then try to come up with something unique and fun to warrant the additional donation.

**** STIPULATIONS ****

These are important and I don’t care what you donate, I’m not doing them.

1. Unprotected sex. 2. Gay sex. 3. Tattoos, piercings or body disfiguration of any kind. 4. Anything that has a real chance of being arrested and/or deported. 5. Anything I am not comfortable with.

Any and all requests must be pre-approved/negotiated on first. I’m pretty fearless so I will do anything really… I just want to make sure that it is somewhat safe and legal.

Thanks, and have a cloudy with a chance of sunshine, day.

Hugs and kisses,
Lexington [what I’m going with in Europe]