Know Me

Guten Tag, I’m Alex. I’m not German.

No, what I am is an unemployed 31 year old guy from Pennsylvania that is embarking on the trip of a lifetime, solo. Why solo? Well, either I have zero friends or I have a whole lot of friends that all have better things to do than come with me on the trip of a lifetime.

Truth is that most of them are either married, engaged, gay, workaholics or just lame. Actually, I think it’s that I don’t have any friends. But I’m going to just chalk it up to them having jobs — whereas I don’t.

I conjured up this idea on the one-year anniversary of me being “reorganized” out of my position at Princeton University. You see, I had a pretty good job working for awesome people… but then all of a sudden, I was forced to work for a, well, this dumb motherfucker (you almost can’t even see him because it’s a dark picture — but regardless — his breath legit smelled like dogshit) and some Duke cunt (who legit looks like a bird). Neither, I would find out soon enough, liked me. After one year of this charade, I was told that I was “not qualified for the position I was applying for” (which I had somehow held for 3.5 years and been promoted twice). Vendetta? Yeah, I’m thinking vendetta. But it’s cool, he is a doofus and she’s married to a geriatric patient.

Regardless, they didn’t fire me but I was “let go” (which I believe is Latin for firing somebody when you have nothing that you can fire them for) and I’ve been doing my own thing ever since. The awesome thing about being unemployed is that you can basically do whatever you want whenever you want however you want with whomever you want. It’s a lot like being single, only somebody pays you. Fortunately, I’m both. So I figure that this is the best thing that could ever happen to meet at this stage of my life. It’s my midlife crisis. And rather than buy a Corvette or something stupid… I’m going to go sow my unemployed oats and introduce my kids all over the many faces of Europe.

But it’s not going to be all sex-driven… I’m going to report back on the many places I visit, the many people I meet, and many brain cells I kill.

I like to write… I like to be funny… I think I am funny. And, yes, I’m really unemployed — despite having a bachelor’s and a master’s degree. I hung them both up on my wall and I stare at them.

If you want to sponsor me so that I can entertain the masses — aka send some coin my way — here’s how/where you can do it.

If you’d like to employ me… well you can do that too. I have a resume. It’s good. I can start November 1, 2011 and not a day before. I’ll still need to absolve the Absinthe by then. Email me and we can discuss.

If you’d like to follow along — well just check me on here and laugh.


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