Category Archives: Uncategorized

Your Own Single Guy Guide: Krakow, Poland

Disclaimer: This will be a feature that will continue throughout the length of my stays in places. Since literally every place as a walking tour/tourist guide, I am morphing that idea into things about the city that you really want to see. I figure that since I’m a pretty good gauge on what people are into and whatnot, this would be a good way to do an unbiased infomercial on a city that perhaps you haven’t seen and would like to know about. I will not pull punches, if I liked a place — I’ll sing its praises. If I hated, I’ll tear it the biggest asshole on the planet. Because I know assholes: I am one.

Take these as you will because I’m speaking only from my perspective. And remember: opinions are like assholes, everybody has one and only mine matters.

Krakow (Cracow), Poland

One-word definition: Forgettable/Incomplete

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Daryna To Have Sex with Me

My hostel is a pleasant surprise. It’s literally sprawled out in front of a football stadium (the view from my window is the massive structure)… and, well, the hostel owner/checker-inner/whatever girl is kinda sexy. And I’m in the private room right next to the check-in room.

Her name is Daryna (Dare-in-ya) and she was a gymnasta… all 4 ft. 3 of hera. She answered the door and basically just came up to my waista.

Cute little thing… loves Facebook too.

Your Own Single Guy Guide: Brno, Czech Republic

Disclaimer: This will be a feature that will continue throughout the length of my stays in places. Since literally every place as a walking tour/tourist guide, I am morphing that idea into things about the city that you really want to see. I figure that since I’m a pretty good gauge on what people are into and whatnot, this would be a good way to do an unbiased infomercial on a city that perhaps you haven’t seen and would like to know about. I will not pull punches, if I liked a place — I’ll sing its praises. If I hated, I’ll tear it the biggest asshole on the planet. Because I know assholes: I am one.

Take these as you will because I’m speaking only from my perspective. And remember: opinions are like assholes, everybody has one and only mine matters.

Brno, Czech Republic

One-word definition: Quality

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Your Own Single Guy Guide: Budapest, Hungary

Disclaimer: This will be a feature that will continue throughout the length of my stays in places. Since literally every place as a walking tour/tourist guide, I am morphing that idea into things about the city that you really want to see. I figure that since I’m a pretty good gauge on what people are into and whatnot, this would be a good way to do an unbiased infomercial on a city that perhaps you haven’t seen and would like to know about. I will not pull punches, if I liked a place — I’ll sing its praises. If I hated, I’ll tear it the biggest asshole on the planet. Because I know assholes: I am one.

Take these as you will because I’m speaking only from my perspective. And remember: opinions are like assholes, everybody has one and only mine matters.

Budapest, Hungary

One-word definition: Understated

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Where Are You Going?

"Not I" says the fly, but they don't know that over there.

Without getting into the specifics of when I’m going — for fear of looting of mi casa or being captured by radicals — I’m divulging my itinerary for the trip.

Flying Virgin-Atlantic from Newark Liberty to London Heathrow Airport – overnight flight.

Why Virgin-Atlantic? Same price as anything else on Kayak but with better commercial appeal. And, well, I run a company called REDNAXELA web design, so I’m partial to the iconic red unis. And Bill Hader’s fabulous take on basically everything — including one Dick Branson.

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Hallo! Me and my family are looking for sex

USA! USA! USA!

I’m planning a trip to Europe. This will be the official blog.

Not going for a bit — but this will probably be the only way for you to stay in touch with me… as I am not bringing a phone… and facebook will only be used to remember the names of the Unified Team and descendants of the Bolshoi. After I bang them and promise to bring them to the United States to be married.

“Vhere you take me on honeymoon? Vashington? Ve go to Vest America, California, no?”

Sure, comrade. But for now, ve play donkey punch. You donkey. Go! Continue reading

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