Prague-matic

Alright, it took me about an hour and a half to see the sights in Prague. This is going to be a problem. I wasn’t expecting it to be so small — not to mention that I walked to all of the most important ones. If I took the metro I’d be done in about 40 minutes.

The only thing I haven’t seen is a non-professional hot girl here. Sure there are tons of hot girls… but they are all working. It took me about 10 minutes during my lunch break to figure that one out. This is troublesome because, well, I’m going to be heading to all of these cities — and if they’re are as compact as this… I’m going to be having one day of sightseeing followed by two days on the computer.

And the women are blatantly obvious about the whole thing… now bare in mind that I started off at 10 am here. It is now 2:43 pm here. I walked around before the hunger pangs began — but I’m still trying to figure out the exchange rate so I went with something simple: Evian water and a sandwich from Tesco’s. Not exactly Czech cuisine but it ended up being like 5-6 bucks (85 CZK). And the Evian water is 1.5 liters… so I should be good for awhile. Gas also seems relatively cheap here — but I think it is liters so probably it isn’t. Food is though.

Prague has a ton of little cafes but not really anywhere else to sit outside and eat. It is a moving town — which is why you see nary a fat person.

It is difficult because I’m all by myself — I can’t use friends to divide and conquer. I’m my own Howitzer Cannon and then my own platoon. It’s decidedly more difficult when you are up against a language barrier and its you against the world (basically).

But as I was eating my buttered roll with meat and swiss cheese (I’m sure that’s super healthy), I saw all of these hot girls walking hand in hand with what I would consider to be just toolbags and weirdos. It startled me… but also gave me hope (at first). Then like 25 minutes would go by and I’d see the same girl hand in hand with another guy. So I did what any person would do… I followed them.

And it never failed, wherever they went, two would go in, one would come out. Then I was approached, “GFE”?

Me: “Prominte?”

Girl: “Girlfriend Experience. You, me.”

Me: “Do you speak English?”

Girl: “Yes, a little bit, you want sex?”

Yeah, of course I do… but not with a professional… and I’m not paying for it. But that was an eye-opener. Soon enough I understood the culture. It’s sex tourism… Charles Bridge, tourists, local girls, easy targets, 30 minutes walking around hand in hand, 5-10 minutes to get the guy to finish. Done deal, easy money.

Soundtrack of the Moment: One Minute Man (Missy Elliott)

Yeah, I have money, but I’m not doing that. It is kind of why I came in September/October and not the summer – I was hoping to avoid the sex tourists. Turns out they are always here. And it is the weekend so… yeah.

Here’s the other thing I found out: I’m a good 6 inches taller than the next tallest person I saw in Prague today. Asians asked for pictures… I did my fair share of that today. Then, without fail, girl walks up and asks, “Why they take picture with you? Are you famous?”

Well, yeah, kinda.

“Interest in sex? I bet you be big. Want girlfriend?”

Yeah, well, no thanks. If I wanted to walk around for 30 minutes while you shop and then go somewhere for you to tell me, in private, how bad your day was or your friend’s boyfriend that is cheating on you, and how much you are looking forward to Gilmore Girls this week then… I’d have a girlfriend.

The world’s oldest profession…………… alive and well in Prague. But, you pay.

So the goal for today is trying to find out where to go for college football. Apparently there are three places — Restaurace Jam, Sport Bar Zlata Hvezda and the Drunken Monkey. This could be interesting.

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