Another Upgrade… Plus Hilarious Email

My Upgraded Abode

I love broken English… and upgrades.

So evidently my apartment was overbooked in Prague and so I have been moved to another property. No big deal… has happened with my Brno accommodations, probably will happen a few more times.

Apparently Czechs don’t do scheduling very well… but, hey, when the result is a no-cost upgrade, then they can fuck up all that they want and I’ll be satisfied.

So yeah, no more Residence Liliova 8 — no, I’m now at the Residence Karolina (which is a cool $220 more a night — I know, I’ve checked).

Truth is the rooms are bigger, the complex is in a more desirable location and it’s probably the most well known property in Praha that you can stay at. It’s also €237/night ($326.47). Plus I get a smush room… yeahhhh, I’m not kidding.

Not too bad for a place that cost me $106/night at the Residence Liliova.

You see, upgrading is usually not a thing that happens to me. Upgrades usually only happen to the hot blonde girls that I know that can just show up somewhere — Gator games, Las Vegas, Tiffany’s, the British Consulate, restaurants, bars, gyms, Bon Jovi’s locker room, etc. — without tickets or accommodations, and somehow always get in, with the best seats in the house, etc. So when the upgrade bug hits me once every 15 years or so, I jump on it. Because when you are a guy, these opportunities arise maybe twice in a lifetime. And I’ve just cashed out my upgrades for the next 30 years of life on this trip alone. Because I don’t have tits and I don’t have bedroom eyes. I have hairy legs and soccer player thighs. It’s just not going to get me anywhere. I have to rely on clerical error and to err is human.

Anyway, thanks Prague-city Apartments! And thanks for this gem (sic’d)!

Dear Mr.  Alex, Thank you for arranging your stay in Prague with us in Residence Liliova studio apartmen  for 3  days.I’m truly sorry to inform you that due to last-minute and unexpected changes in the apartment availability (  technical problems) we will not be able to provide you with this exact apartment.As an alternative we have upgraded to two-bedroom executiv apartment No. 53 in Residence  Karolina****. This apartment features the better level of services and equipment as the apartment originally booked. More importantly, in addition you can enjoy additional room space , more prestigious location. 

Please find complete information on this apartment on

The upgrade feature extra bedroom for if you find a nice girl or work girl to bring home to. This apartment also has experience in erotica movies so you can set up extra room for adult erotica video. Room is spacious with big toilet and space for girls to get makeup. Vega Models use property all the time. We can arrange service for you. Also, room has large shower that can fit four people doing scene together.

Of course there is no extra cost to you for this upgrade.

Guest satisfaction is our top priority therefore we always try to offer the best possible alternative in such unexpected situations and we believe that this change will make your stay in Prague even more comfortable and enjoyable. I know you travel by yourself, but this gives you options for a more fun time in Prague. Please feel free to contact me for any additional information you might need regarding your new apartment. I would appreciate a short reply as your confirmation of receiving this letter.

Thank you for understanding, looking forward hearing from you soon.

Kind regards,

Veronika Sykorova
Front office manager

Yeah, she’s not fucking kidding. The shower stall has to be huge.


2 thoughts on “Another Upgrade… Plus Hilarious Email

  1. Samantha says:

    That letter is gold.

  2. […] Accommodations: 9 out of 10 — Apartment was huge value for the money. Big, spacious and right around everything. And the shower stall definitely was big enough for 4 people doing scene. […]

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